Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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