i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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