it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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