I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
