Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize