when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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