Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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