I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
