I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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