your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
