the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
