I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
