ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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