I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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