jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
