Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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