i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
