Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
