Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
