I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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