He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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