I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
PANTIES FOUND
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