FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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