Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
