Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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