i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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