I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
