I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
