the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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