She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I understand Curling. That high.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
