Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
