i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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