I want to make a zoo with you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
