I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
