Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
