Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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