P.S. I can't hear my feet
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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