Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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