I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
