Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize