I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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