exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
