When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
