You can't motorboat a personality
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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