Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
