When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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