I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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