she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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