He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
