Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
