using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
