In the future we'll all be gay
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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