I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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