I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
