I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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