mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
