there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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