Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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